BITCHINESS IS ME

We are in the process of moving.  The actual event is not until the beginning of February but until then there are a million things to do.   We’re not taking anything but personal items, but it’s a lot to sort through.  Then it’s a matter of what you can’t pack until the last. 

Last week we decided that perhaps the smartest thing to do would be to purchase a motor home.  It will make life easier in that we have loving pets and it will be easier on all of us.  If we do buy the motor home, some of the things I planned on packing will be needed in the motor home so packing is basically at a stand still. I think I’m beginning to feel the crunch because we have to book the movers during the first week of January.  What seemed like a long time away is, in reality, three weeks away and Christmas and New Years are thrown in between.  Not real good planning on our part.

Anyway what this is leading to is that I’ve been a little testy lately and hubbie has been bearing the brunt of it. While I tend to lash out and then let it go (most of the times) he holds it in and just stews and then and then and then.  My husband has a loud voice and is very much an alpha male- and while he doesn’t yell his voice can quickly escalate to that authoritarian tone.  I don’t react to that very well and usually we are off to the races.  We had a a little altercation last nite just before he retired.  That tone was there so naturally I reacted and said “FINE – WHATEVER” and went back to my computer.  I was a little miffed but no big deal.  A few minutes went by and the bedroom door opened and he came out and apologized.  He explained why he had reacted the way he had and that we would have to come to a decision that we could both live with.  As is so often the case, he was the grownup. 

We had a similar incident a few days earlier.  I was bitchy and I could see that I had gotten to him, but he just walked away.  I told him a day or so later that he should have just taken me over his knee.  He has never done that except in playtime but I wanted to let him know the option was there. He told me he had given it great consideration but what he really wanted to do was strangle me so he thought it best to leave well enough alone.  We resolved that issue in the bedroom.

Today I was reading Rogue’s blog about trusting and letting go.  I haven’t been doing that lately and I need to get back on track.  He is such a good man and loves me even when I am unlovable and I have to trust him to make the right decisions (with my input of course). See what I mean I am my own worst enemy.