Monday, March 24, 2014

The Townsend Solution

James and Rosalind were getting dressed to attend the third charity dinner of the week.  Tonight’s event was an art auction with the proceeds going to the Scherer’s family’s medical bills. Bill Scherer, a ten year old boy, was riding his bike home from school when he was hit by a hit and run driver.  He survived but the medical bills were staggering and the family didn’t have any medical insurance.

James sat on the bed watching his wife Rosalind.  She was a beautiful woman, even more so than when he first met her thirty five years ago. She had grown into her looks and now knew how to enhance those looks and use them to her best advantage. Back then, she was very different than she was today. She was wound up tighter than a drum at all times now and he hated what she had become. She was a grade A bitch, and was meanest to those closest to her.  She no longer had any contact with their daughter Josie, and they were unable to see their grandkids because of her treatment of their daughter-in-law Meg. Their son Jeff told her not to contact them until she apologized.  The only people she hadn’t managed to alienate was their housekeeper, Shandy, and him. Shandy needed the work and gave back as good as she got from Roz.  He, however, was a different story. He found himself spending less and less time at home.  He considered leaving her but couldn’t bear the thought of life without her.  Unfortunately, life with her was harder and harder to tolerate.  Wanting to give them every chance, he decided to have a “Come to Jesus” meeting with her very soon.

Arriving at the auction, she immediately headed toward her circle of society snobs leaving him to traverse the event by himself.  One of the other husbands came over and offered him a drink.

“Same old thing, isn’t it, friend.”

“Yes, and I am getting tired of it.  I feel like a book that is taken off the shelf periodically to prove it’s still of use.”

“I know what you mean.  I don’t understand it, why can’t they treat us the way they treat each other.”

“They do, don’t you notice the backstabbing that goes on at these events.  It’s a bitchfest.  Do you mean to tell me your wife doesn’t go through the whole litany of who said what who and who did what to who after each event.,” Jim said.

“Come to think of it, you are right.  They are not even nice to each other.  At least they pretend to like each other, I don’t even receive that much the last couple of years.”

“The way Roz has acted lately, I don’t like her either. She acts like a spoiled brat and I would love to just take her over my knee and spank the bejeesus out of her. Can’t believe I blurted that but that’s the way I feel.”

“Jim, I’ve often thought the same thing about Claire, so don’t be embarrassed.”

When the bidding started, Roz came over to Jim to tell him on what items to bid and not bid. One of the items on the Do Not Bid list was a romantic getaway for two.  The item included airfare and a ten day stay at a secluded lodge in the Blue Mountains of Jamaica.  Just the thing, thought Jim.

When he started bidding on the item, Roz pinched his thigh and gave him a look that would freeze ice.  He wasn’t deterred and the bidding continued well over the retail value of the prize but Jim refused to drop out.  He watched Roz’s face – there was that fake smile but her body was rigid.  Too bad , he thought, this is something we are doing.  When the other party finally dropped out, Roz sneered at him and sotto voice said, “you better plan on going alone because I’m not going.”

He smiled at her an in the same way replied, “we’ll discuss it later.”

“Go to hell,” was her response and she was off with her ‘friends’.

The minute they got in the car for the drive home, she started in on him.

“How could you go against my wishes and bid on that item.  That item was supposed to go to Bill Hutchins.”

“Did Bill Hutchins know that because I didn’t seem him bidding past the opening bid?”

“It doesn’t matter, you overpaid for a trip I’m never going to take.”

“Oh, I think maybe you will take the trip.  As I said earlier, we will discuss it at home,” and he turned on the radio to drown out any further conversation.

Roz stormed into the house, practically slamming the door in Jim’s face.  He accosted her arm and practically dragged her to the living room.

“SIT.” He bellowed at her.

Roz jumped because she wasn’t used to this kind of reaction from Jim.  She started to get up and he pushed her back down.

“I told you to sit and if you get up again you will be sorry.”

“Don’t you threaten me, you overgrown bully.”

“I may be an overgrown bully but I’m your husband and we are going to have this out, like it or not.   I love you, well I love the person you used to be.  This version, I don’t  like. Now sit there and be quiet and listen to the things I have to say.”

Jim began by telling her he had gradually watched her change as his position and salary increased and she entered the ‘club’ circle. He told her he didn’t change who he was and he didn’t understand why she did.  He said they may have more money and more possessions but he was still James Townsend, son of Margery and Bill Townsend. 

“You, on the other hand, turned into some hoity-toity bitch I don’t even know anymore.  Our only social life revolves around your charity functions and your hoity-toity friends because everyone else is shut out of our lives.  Hell, we don’t even get to see our kids or grandkids anymore because they can’t stand to be around you.  Don’t you see something wrong with this picture, because I do?”

“I don’t have to sit here and listen to this.  I’m going to bed.”

“If you try to get up off that couch….

She stood up and headed toward the bedroom.  He watched her go because he was so angry with her he didn’t dare follow her until he cooled down. He fixed himself a brandy and wondered how things got to this point.  He slowly sipped the brandy, the fiery liquid soothed him somewhat and when his emotions were back under control, he walked to the bedroom.

Roz was lying in bed reading.

“Has the brandy calmed you down any?” she asked with a sneer.

“Rosalind Elizabeth Townsend I want you to listen to what I have to say and I want you to listen good.  I will not live like this anymore.  I bid on that trip because it may be just what we need to turn this marriage around.  If we don’t come to some agreement, when we return I will be walking out that door.”

“Don’t threaten me.”

“I’m not threatening you, I’m stating a fact.  If you know what is good for you, you will be packed and ready for the trip two weeks from Saturday.  If you’re not I’m going to do something I never thought I would do.”

“And just what might that be?” she asked him snottily.

“I’m going to take off my belt and tan your hide, something I probably should have done a couple of years back and we wouldn’t be in this situation.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“I wouldn’t bet on it if I were you darling.”

The next ten days went on much like the last ten days.  There were two more charity events the following weekend;  a dinner honoring hospital volunteers on Saturday and a brunch on Sunday to benefit the school library.  Roz was being honored at the dinner on Saturday and when Jim listened to all the praise that was being heaped on his wife he wondered what woman they were talking about, certainly not the one who lived with him.

The day before they were scheduled to leave he still had not noticed any signs of her getting ready to make the trip.  He had packed his things and left them in a duffle bag in the bedroom.  Before he left for work, he wrote her a note stating he wanted to leave by 10 the next day and placed in on the kitchen counter right next to one of his belts.  He had a business dinner that evening and didn’t get home until around ten.  Roz was in bed asleep. He climbed into bed and laid awake until the wee hours of the morning thinking about what he was going to have to do in the morning. 

When he awoke, he was alone in bed.  He showered and went downstairs and found no sign of Roz.  He checked the garage and her car was gone. Damn her, why does she always have to make things so difficult.  He wasn’t sure what was going to happen now.  Do I sit here and wait for her and then make good on my threat?  Do I leave and go on the trip by myself?  If I do that, what happens when I get back, do I just pack up and leave?  So many thoughts were running through his head when he heard the garage door open.  He looked at his watch and saw that it was 9:50.  Bracing himself, he stood up and opened the door. 

“Are we taking your car or mine?” she asked.

“Mine,” he answered.

She took a suitcase she had obviously hidden in the garage and placed it in the trunk and then opened the car door and climbed in. 

Lord, that woman confuses the hell out of me. I never know what to expect of her.

“Well, are you ready or not?  You said 10:00, let’s get started,” she said to him.

“Good morning to you too, Roz.  I’m ready, wasn’t sure about you.”

He picked up his bag, closed the door and stepped into the garage.
A half-hour into the ride, not a word had been spoken.  He decided to take the bull by the horns.

“I’m glad you decided to come on this trip, Roz.  We need this.  I don’t know how you feel but these last couple of months, I don’t know why we are married.  The only time we seem to communicate is when you tell me what it is you expect of me.  Would you rather we separate?  Is that what you want?”


“No, what?” he asked.

“No, I don’t want to separate. I’ve been thinking about the things you said.  I agree.  I don’t like who I’ve become either.  I think I’m going to need your help in changing the bad habits I seem to have taken on.  I hate that Lori and I don’t talk and I miss seeing our grandkids, and most of all, I miss us.  We used to have such fun together.  I can’t remember the last time we laughed together.”

“We’ll talk it out and figure out something.  The most important thing is that you want to change.  I have a couple of ideas that might help.”

“Does one of them include your belt on my backside?”

“Yes, that would be one of the things I had in mind.  How do you feel about that?”

“I’m not sure. I do know I took the threat seriously, then that little reminder on the counter yesterday made me squirm a little.”

“I’m glad you took it seriously because I meant it.  I would have hated to do it and I will hate if I have to, but I will because we are worth it.  So how about being the girl I married and everything will be fine?”

“I’ll try,” she said and reached for my hand, which was the first honest contact we had in months.


The first week was great.  Roz was happy and cuddly.  They made love several times throughout the days, but on the eight morning, she woke up her old bitchy self.

“What’s wrong?” Jim asked.

“Leave me alone.”

He gave her space for a couple of hours.  He asked if she wanted lunch.  Her response was another snarky answer. 

“Okay, that does it,” he told her.  “Give me a reason for this latest snit,”

Her look had “fuck you” written all over it.  He unbuckled his belt and removed it and guided her over to the couch. He pushed her down over the back and his left hand held her in place while he raised his right hand and brought down the belt on her backside. 

“Are you going to answer me?”

“I will not.”

“Well then, I guess I have no choice.  When you’re ready to give me a reason for this snotty attitude, I will stop spanking you.”

Seven fiery spanks later he heard her mumble. He stopped and asked if she said something.

“I said, I’m sorry.  I was just testing you.”  He grinned to himself, she always was a piece of work.

He gave her three more strikes and laid down the belt.  He pulled her up and nestled her to him.  He was surprised when she didn’t pull away. He ran his fingers through her hair and rubbed her back.

“I didn’t think you would do it,” she told him.

“I’m a man of my word.  I like the way we’ve been the last couple of days, I won’t tolerate that kind of attitude any longer.  Your backside and this belt will become very well acquainted if you continue to act out and the next time I will bare your bottom.

Roz was on her best behavior the rest of the trip.  She now knew that Jim wouldn’t tolerate her bad behavior any longer.  Once she got back home, she made inroads in her relationship with their children.  Jim was so proud of her and loved having his old wife back.

The following week there was a scheduled charity event.  Jim wasn’t taking any chances that Roz would slip back into her bad habits.  Earlier in the week he purchased something he felt would help her remember.  The night of the event he told her he was going to give her a reminder to be a “good girl”.  She was sure he was going to spank her when he asked her to lay across his lap. Roz was waiting for that first spank, and was surprised when Jim began caressing her behind.

“What are you doing?”

He showed her his purchase and she cringed.  “I don’t need this Jim.  I promise I will remember to behave.”

“I didn’t intend to use it this evening, but I did want you to know that it’s another tool in my arsenal to make sure you continue to be good.  He continued to caress her behind and she was beginning to think Jim wanted to fool around before they left. 

“Jim, we don’t have time for this now.”

“Oh, honey, I know that.” He slapped her tush and stood her up.  She finished getting ready and they were out the door.  On the drive, she began feeling a strange sensation in her tush.

“Honey, do you have the seat warmers on?”

“No, Babe, I gave you your own personal seat warmer.  You’ll feel it for a while.  He reached into the glove box and handed her the tube of Capsicain Cream. 

“It will be handy in case of behavior emergencies,” he laughed

Roz didn’t think it was so funny.