Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Ten Life Lessons

A Cowboy Tombstone:

Here are five things for men to follow for a happy life.  Russell J. Larsen inscribed these on his headstone.  

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2.  It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3.  It's important to have a woman who you can trust and doesn't lie to you.

4.  It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and likes to be with you.

5.  This is the most important lesson of all.  Make sure these four woman don't know each other or you could end up dead like me.



An old woman walked up and tied her mule to the hitching post.  She stood there brushing some of the dust from her face and clothes.  A young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger obviously had too much whiskey, looked at the old woman and laughed saying:

              "Hey old woman, you ever been dancing?"

             "No, I never have, never really wanted to." she replied

 He started shooting at the old woman's feet.  Not wanting to get her toe blown off, she started hopping around and the crowd that had gathered began laughing.  When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun, turned around and started back in the saloon.  The old woman turned to her pack mule and pulled out a double barrelled shotgun, cocked both hammers.  The loud clicks carried clearly through the thin desert air and the crowd immediately stopped laughing.  The young gunslinger, hearing the sound, turned very slowly.  The crowd watched as the gunman stared at the old woman and the twin barrels of the shotgun.

             "Son, have you ever licked a mule's ass."

            "No Ma am, but I've always wanted to."

The moral of this story is

1. Never be arrogant.

2.  Don't waste ammunition.

3. Liquor makes you think you're smarter than you are.

4.  Always  make sure you know who has the power, and

5.  Don't mess with old women, they didn't get old by being stupid.

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See you later for more Aimless Ramblings.


  1. Poor, poor Russell. @..@

    Poooor old lady! ;-)

  2. LoL Sunny, fun read. I love the life lessons. I though the first one was great, until I got to the punch line! "The didn't get old by being stupid", guess there is truth to that! LoL

    I love the pic. Going with you gut is almost always the right thing.


    1. Whenever I haven't listened to my gut, I have been sorry.

  3. Omg I loved it, go old woman lol

    Thanks for the laugh x

  4. Excellent, I agree with all this.

  5. LOL!!!!

    Way to go old woman!!!!

    Love the 'picture.' Always trust your gut. It's usually right.

    Thanks for sharing :)

  6. Hi Sunny, I really like that saying, it is so appropriate in my life at the moment.
    love Jan.xx

    1. Glad it helped. Try to remember it, because I found it is always true.

  7. That tombstone story is phoney

    Here is Larsen's real tombstone (almost as good)

    from here

    1. You know I thought it was a "joke". DIdn't realized it was a true story. Will go over and check out the site.

      Thanks for stopping by and setting me straight.

  8. Replies
    1. Glad you had a laugh. I don't know about you, but I can always use a laugh.

  9. Certainly not stupid! Turning his back was a big mistake...LOL

    1. What's that saying, Getting Even is the Best Revenge.

  10. I liked the last one best. Always trust your instincts.



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