Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Ten Life Lessons




A Cowboy Tombstone:

Here are five things for men to follow for a happy life.  Russell J. Larsen inscribed these on his headstone.  

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2.  It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3.  It's important to have a woman who you can trust and doesn't lie to you.

4.  It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and likes to be with you.

5.  This is the most important lesson of all.  Make sure these four woman don't know each other or you could end up dead like me.

RUSSELL LARSEN IS BURIED IN LOGAN, UTAH.

                                  ============================

An old woman walked up and tied her mule to the hitching post.  She stood there brushing some of the dust from her face and clothes.  A young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger obviously had too much whiskey, looked at the old woman and laughed saying:

              "Hey old woman, you ever been dancing?"

             "No, I never have, never really wanted to." she replied

 He started shooting at the old woman's feet.  Not wanting to get her toe blown off, she started hopping around and the crowd that had gathered began laughing.  When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun, turned around and started back in the saloon.  The old woman turned to her pack mule and pulled out a double barrelled shotgun, cocked both hammers.  The loud clicks carried clearly through the thin desert air and the crowd immediately stopped laughing.  The young gunslinger, hearing the sound, turned very slowly.  The crowd watched as the gunman stared at the old woman and the twin barrels of the shotgun.

             "Son, have you ever licked a mule's ass."

            "No Ma am, but I've always wanted to."

The moral of this story is

1. Never be arrogant.

2.  Don't waste ammunition.

3. Liquor makes you think you're smarter than you are.

4.  Always  make sure you know who has the power, and

5.  Don't mess with old women, they didn't get old by being stupid.


Get lots of Great Posts at ➸ Make the World a Better Place




See you later for more Aimless Ramblings.

Monday, September 2, 2013

A Tanned Tush



"Are you going to behave now?"  She nodded yes.

He had just bent her over the counter and given her backside ten or so swats with the bamboo spoon.  He walked into the other room and realized he had forgotten to pick up his glasses.  When he came back into the kitchen, there she stood skirt still up, rubbing her cute little red butt.

God, he loved her.  She was his whole world. How did he get so lucky? He thought.  She finally realized he was watching her and her hand moved away and her skirt fell back in place. 

Sheepishly she said “Sorry, I know I’m not supposed to do that, but it stings.”  He laughed.  “It’s supposed to sting. It means I did my job.” He wrapped her in his arms and hugged her tight giving her a big kiss.

“I’m going to be late, honey.  I have to get going.”

He kissed her again, swatted her fanny and walked her out the door.  “I will see you tonite, babe.  Be careful.”

“You too, sweetie.”

She backed the car out of the driveway and was on her way.  As she sat on the freeway, her mind went back to earlier this morning.  Why do I put extra-added stress on him?  His job is stressful enough and if he says he cannot get off, then he cannot. They had planned to go away this weekend.  It was the last official weekend of the summer and she had wanted to go to the beach.  This morning he told her he could not get away.  He was working a case and he doubted it would be resolved by this weekend.  He urged her to take one of her girlfriends and go without him.  She balked at that idea and harangued him about work being more important than her.  The argument escalated and the next thing she knew she was leaned over the counter, her skirt lifted and getting her fanny warmed. She could still feel a little warmth, and not just from the spanking. 

                                                   ______________________________

They met when he gave her a parking ticket when he was a patrol officer and new to the force.  She parked in front of a fire hydrant and went into the bank to make a quick deposit.  She came back to the car just as he had taken the ticket book out of his patrol car. She hadn’t been gone more than five minutes and she tried pleading her case.  He started writing the ticket.

“You’re not going to give me a warning, Officer?”

“The sign you are standing in front of is the warning.  You didn’t observe the warning, so you are getting a ticket.” He told her.

“Boy, you are a real stickler for the law, aren’t you?”

“Doing my job, Miss, that’s all.” Handing her the ticket book, he asked for her signature.

“I am not signing that.  If I hadn’t come back when I did the ticket would just be on my windshield, so a signature is not necessary.”

“Suit yourself.” He tore off the ticket and handed it to her.

That was their auspicious beginning.  Weeks later, she ran into him in the grocery store.  


He looked so cute, dressed in his uniform, with the plastic shopping cart hanging on his wrist.  She went up to him and introduced herself.  He told her he remembered her and asked if she had parked in front of any hydrants lately. One thing led to another and she had a date for the following Friday night and as it turned out for the rest of her life.

 Aaron was now a detective with the Los Padres Police Department.  He was still so very cute, but didn’t wear a uniform any more.  He loved his job, he was very good at it; and he was still a stickler.  She knew that oh so well. This morning was a prime example.

Right from the beginning, he would deliver a swat to her backside if she did or said something he didn’t like.  She thought it was sexy. Once they married though, she had a different take on this issue after he gave her the first real spanking. He had worked the night shift and was at home sleeping.  The doorbell rang and she had ran to the door so that it wouldn't wake him.  She opened the door to a stranger who asked to use the phone.  She let him in to use the phone and after he made a call, she couldn’t get him back out of the house.  She told him her husband was upstairs but he didn’t believe her.  He started putting moves on her and as she pushed him to the door, he tripped over the umbrella stand and it crashed to the floor.  Her husband came running out of the bedroom with gun in hand.  The guy saw him and took off running.  When Aaron found out what she had done, he was beside himself.  He started lecturing her and then pulled her over his knee and gave her the first spanking she had since she was a kid.  She didn’t think that was too sexy. It hurt like hell and she didn’t think it would ever end.  When it did, she knew she would never open the door to a stranger again.  

The pattern was established and consent never discussed.  When she made a foolish choice, she ended up over his knee.  It was as simple as that. It didn’t bother her.  She still thought it was somewhat sexy that he was so protective of her well-being, even if it did hurt. 
                                                 
                                      __________________________________

Later that day she got a call from one of her friends inviting her and Aaron to a beach party over the Labor Day Weekend.  She told Betsy that Aaron had to work and Betsy told her to come anyway.   Many people she knew would be there, she wouldn’t feel like a third wheel and it would be a good time.  She finally agreed because otherwise, she would be sitting home and brooding and that wouldn’t go over too well with Aaron.  

Later that evening she told Aaron about Betsy’s invitation.

“I’m glad you decided to get out.  It will be better for you than sitting home.”

“Yes, but I will be gone for two days.”

“I know, honey, but I’ll be working and won’t have that much time to miss you.”

“OOOOHH, that makes me feel so much better.” She told him snottily.

“You know what I mean.” He laughed and grabbed her into his big burly arms and hugged her. 

“C’mon, let’s go fool around.”  She looked at him and saw that twinkle in his eye.  She disengaged himself and took off.

“Catch me if you can.” She yelled over her shoulder.

“Oh, I’ll catch you, and when I do, you are going to get it.”

“Lord, I hope so.”
                                             _______________________
   
Saturday morning of Labor Day weekend dawned bright and sunny.  She rolled over and snuggled up to Aaron.  Her fingers gently began exploring his torso, slowly and gently moving toward his manhood.  While he was moaning softly and lolled into complacency  that is when her fingers grabbed his testicles and squeezed.  He jumped and in one move rolled her over on her tummy and spanked her behind. She was squealing with delight until the slaps got a little harder.

“Stop, stop.  I’m sorry,” she said giggling.  He smacked a little harder.

“Stop, now, it’s not funny anymore.” Still giggling.

“When my balls stop smarting, I’ll stop smacking.  Until then missy, your ass is mine.”  Although his voice was stern, he stopped spanking as hard and she could tell by the look on his face this was just for fun.  She was wriggling away from his punishing hand and he allowed it to happen. He rolled her over and his fingers felt her wetness.  He teased and tormented until they both wanted release.  He entered her in one long hard thrust and before long he could feel her muscles contracting and he pulled all the way out and pushed back in for one long final push and they both climaxed.  She started to rise out of bed and he pulled her back.

“I really will miss you, you know that don’t you?” he asked her very sincerely.

“Of course, I know that and I will miss you too.  I intend to have a good time though, I’m just sorry you won’t be there.”

“Me too, but you better behave yourself, or else.”

“Or else, what?  What happens there stays there.  Isn’t that what the tv ad says?”

“That’s Las Vegas, not the beach and I am a detective remember, I will find out.”  He laughed and she laughed with him.

                                 ________________________________________

The traffic to the beach was horrendous. She moved about three miles in an hour.  The hell with this, she thought.  I think I’ll just turn around and go back home.  The traffic was still bad but not as bad.  She stopped at the mall and hoped the traffic would eventually thin out.  Aaron wouldn’t be home anyway so there was no rush.  While shopping she ran into a friend she hadn’t seen in a while.  They  chatted for a while and then decided to stop in and have a drink and a nosh.  She didn’t realize how long she had been gone until her phone rang.  It was Aaron.

“Are you okay?  Where the hell are you?” he demanded.

“I’m at the mall, having a drink with Beverly Wilson, remember her.  I used to work with her at B…

“I don’t give a damn how you know her.  Betsy called and wondered what time you would be there.  I told her you left at 9:45 and should have been there by now.  Why didn’t you call either me or Betsy to let us know you changed plans?” He was talking so loud Beverly could hear his end of the conversation.

“I’m sorry.  I forgot about calling Betsy and I knew you wouldn’t be home.  We just lost track of the time.”

“I was worried when you hadn’t reached the beach.  Do me a favor and call Betsy.   I’ll see you later and make sure you get something to eat before heading home.  I love you.”

She already told Beverly about how she had ended up at the mall.  “Husbands can be so domineering at times. Sometimes, I think he forgets I’m a grown woman.”

“I know what you mean.   Jerry can get that way too.  I just blow it off.”

‘Yeah, well mine is a cop and he has some definite ideas so I don’t get to blow it off.”  She wanted an end to this conversation quickly.

The waiter took their order for more wine and some appetizers.  Another gal they knew came by and joined them.  They were having a great time when the phone rang again and it was Aaron.  She looked at the time and knew she was in deep water. I think I won’t answer this time.  I’ll text him in a little while when I’m on my way home, that way it won’t be a lie.  She quickly told the girls she had to leave.

“Aaron again” Beverly asked. 

“Yes, and I better be on my way.  It was great meeting up with you and we should do this more often.”

“Same here and yes, you better get home before you are arrested or is it grounded?” Beverly said laughingly.

“Maybe both” she laughingly answered back.  Actually, grounded or arrested sounded better than the spanking she knew she was going to get.

Traffic was not a problem on the way home.  She called Betsy and apologized and then texted Aaron.  Aaron’s car wasn’t in the driveway when she got home and she sighed with relief.  It didn’t last long, he must have pulled into the garage because when she walked in he was sitting in the living room waiting for her. 

“Hi, honey.  Did you get my text?  I don’t know how I missed your call.  I guess it was pretty noisy in Wyndam’s.”

“Do you really think you should be lying right now?  How much have you had to drink?”

“I don’t know.  I don’t think more than a couple of glasses of wine.”

“Uh Huh.  And how long were you in Wyndam’s?”

“Okay, so maybe more than a couple of glasses.  I did have appetizers though just as you suggested.”

“Too little too late Sweetheart.  Come here.” And he pointed to his lap.  She walked over to him and he pulled her over his lap.  He began the lecture about drinking and driving and how could she endanger herself and others by doing something so foolish.  She already felt so bad she had disappointed him that the tears started to flow.  By the time he delivered the first spank, she was sobbing.  It didn’t deter him. He continued to spank, and when he stopped lecturing, he pulled down her shorts and panties and really began the spanking in earnest.  When he was done her bottom was well toasted.

“There, your tush has a nice color and you didn’t even go to the beach.” He told her as he sat her on his lap.

She couldn’t help but smile despite her red eyes, tear-stained face and throbbing rear end.

“Yeah, next time, remind me to use sunscreen.”








Sunday, September 1, 2013

The Beach Cottage


Happy September everyone, hope you are enjoying your Sunday.

 After our little "upset" a couple of days ago, Ray and I had a great day yesterday. We spent the day in San Juan Bautista which is an old California town not too far from where we are staying. There is a mission and lots of historical buildings to visit.  Just my cup of tea. We enjoyed each other, lots of laughing, hand holding, you get the picture. We drove to the Fremont State Park Observatory and were going to stay to watch the nighttime presentation but the road was eleven miles of switchbacks and no lights and Ray didn't feel comfortable coming down in the dark.  The view was spectacular in the daytime so I can just imagine what it is like at night.  Going to check out if there are any tours.  Anyway, back to normal for now, but I am quite sure we will eventually be on each other's nerves again. I think it's time we start thinking seriously about where we are going to roost.

This is a repeat of a story I posted last Labor Day.  Enjoy.

They rented the beach cottage for the month of September.  It was something they had done ever since they were first married.  Their relationship had begun on a Labor Day weekend here on the island.  This was their favorite time because once the Labor Day weekend was over most of the visitors cleared out and they were left with a quiet, peaceful vacation.  It meant no traffic on the bridge, a deserted beach, great tables and service at the local restaurants.

Joanna had been coming to the island since she was a little girl. Her grandparents had been caretakers on an island estate and she  spent her summers with them.  When she was sixteen she met Carter Hannigan.  Carter was eighteen and the son of the local police chief.  His family had moved to the island the year before and this was Carter’s first summer.  He had a summer job working at the local marina.  Joanna and some of her friends had rented a hobie cat for the day and when they returned it Carter checked it in.  Joanna couldn’t take her eyes off him.   He was gorgeous with blonde hair, blue eyes and was tanned a beautiful bronze color.  He could have passed for a model in a magazine. Joanna fell in love and he didn’t even give her a second look. She was crushed but was determined to get his attention before the summer was over.

Joanna spent the rest of the summer plotting ways to get Carter to ask her out.   He was always nice to her but that was it. She found out he thought she was just too young.  Armed with this information, she changed her tactics.  Her plan was to seduce him at the End of Summer Beach Fest held on Labor Day Weekend. 

All the kids would get together make a huge bonfire, play music, and dance.  Summer romances would sneak off and pledge their undying love to one another and promise to be faithful until the next season. When Carter saw a group of kids starting to smoke pot he figured it was time for him to leave.  Being the son of the Chief of Police he felt it would be best.  Joanna saw him starting to walk away and ran after him.  This was going to be her last chance.  The two rum and cokes she had had given her a false sense of courage.  She called out to him – he stopped and turned around and she ran right into his arms. She began kissing and hugging him.  He stopped her and stepped back.

“What are you doing?” he asked

“I am trying to prove to you that I am not too young.  I know what you want and I am willing to give it to you.”

“You have no idea what I want and you are too young or you wouldn’t be acting this way.  Have you been drinking? He asked noting that she was none too steady on her feet and her words were a little slurred.

“No," she lied

“I think you have and I am going to take you home to your grandparents before you get into trouble.”

She was sober enough to know she didn’t want her grandparents to see her in this condition.  Joanna knew they would be disappointed in her and told Carter to just leave her alone she would go home on her own.  He wasn’t about to let that happen.  She was a kid and he saw it as his responsibility to see her home safely.  She began fighting him and so he grabbed her and heaved her up over his shoulder and started off toward home.  She was kicking and screaming at him to put her down.  When she gave him an especially hard kick he gave her behind a sharp slap.

“How dare you”.

“If you don’t stop carrying on there is more where that came from.  You deserve a good spanking and I would be more than happy to see that you get what you deserve”.

She was sobering up quickly and gave him another good kick.  He yelled and before she knew what was happening she was down on the ground and being pushed over his hip.  He started spanking her in earnest.  She was yelping and calling him every name she could think of.  The more she yelled, the harder he spanked.  When she was finally quieted, he stopped and let her up.  She ran from him as fast as she could.  He didn’t follow close but watched until she got to the cottage.

That was the last time she saw Carter Hannigan until she was 21 years old.  She no longer spent the summers at her grandparents.  They had retired and now only came to the island as visitors.  She accompanied them that Labor Day weekend and ran into Carter at the local diner. She was embarrassed remembering their last encounter and was going to just ignore him when he came over and said hello to her grandparents and her.  He was as gorgeous as she had remembered and she still felt butterflies in her tummy.  He said he was home for the weekend before starting his dentistry internship. During the conversation, he told them his parents were giving him a send off party that evening and invited them to attend.

Joanna and her grandparents attended the party.  That night Carter saw Joanna as a woman and liked what he saw. Before the end of the evening he knew she was the girl for him and he hoped she was still interested.

                                                                     ∞∞∞∞∞

They had high hopes for this vacation.  The past year had been a difficult one for them.  Joanna had another miscarriage and this one had almost torn them apart. After attending grief counseling they were trying to recapture the spark that had gone out of their marriage.  Neither one of them was willing to throw away fifteen years. The island had brought them together and they both hoped it would keep them together.
That first Saturday night they had gone to their favorite island restaurant and were walking back to the cottage when they spotted the bonfire on the beach.  Carter squeezed Joanna’s hand and she squeezed back as she remembered that night.  They walked toward the fire and watched the kids.  Carter suggested they walk back to the cottage and do what she wanted to do that night so long ago.  She melted – she was still so in love with him.

“ So Joanna shall I throw you over my shoulder or do you want to walk back?”

“I would rather walk, if you don’t mind.”

“How about the spanking, shall we relive that too.  It’s been a long time”.

“Yes, it has.”

When they entered the cottage, Carter turned on their I Pod and invited Joanna to dance with him.  Slow dancing led to kissing and kissing led to petting and soon they were shedding their clothing.  He led her to the bedroom and placed her on the bed. He caressed her back and nibbled on her neck.  Slowly he began kneading her bottom.  The kneading turned to light slaps, then caressing, then harder slaps and soon she was raising her butt to receive those wonderful spanks.  This was nothing like the first spanking he had given.  She was squirming but in an entirely different way.  As his one hand spanked, the fingers on his other hand found her pleasure spot.  She was so ready for him and begged for him to enter her.  When he finally did they came together in a way that hadn’t happened in a long time.

The next morning, Joanna brought Carter his coffee in bed.  She snuggled up to him and told him how wonderful last night had been. She said she wanted to have more nights like that rather than the ones they had been having for the last couple of years. Maybe they had been trying too hard to conceive and had forgotten how great their sex life had been.   He suggested they didn’t have to wait for nightfall; as he recalled morning sex was pretty great too.

They spent the remaining days of their vacation falling back in love.  They strolled on the beach, lazed in the sun, ate fabulous food and made love every day, often more than once a day.  They went back to their real lives as newlyweds.  Their friends couldn’t believe the change in them.  The island had once again worked its magic.
                                                                ∞∞∞∞

Another year passed and they arrived on the island on Labor Day Weekend.  When they got off the ferry, Carter’s parents were there to meet and greet them.  They couldn’t wait to get their hands on the newest member of the Hannigan family.  Another generation was going to be indoctrinated into the magic of the island.


Come by tomorrow for a new story.  Until then, see you later on Aimless Ramblings.