ATTENTION, ATTENTION: Can someone please explain to me why half of this post is in one font and the other half in another. I typed it here, didn't cut and paste, and I can't seem to fix it. Another character flaw, perhaps - stupidity when it comes to blogger.
One day a couple of weeks ago, PK over at New Beginnings had a post titled "I'll always wonder." She said she had been reading some blogs and realized that the hopes she had for her version of TTWD never materialized and probably never would. I shook my head in agreement.
One day a couple of weeks ago, PK over at New Beginnings had a post titled "I'll always wonder." She said she had been reading some blogs and realized that the hopes she had for her version of TTWD never materialized and probably never would. I shook my head in agreement.
Ray and I don't fight, we argue, we disagree, but we don't fight. I remember my folks - they fought, and Ray said his parents did too. Maybe that's why we don't. When we don't agree, we both play the distance, silent game and one of us eventually give in. We've been doing it our whole married life, and although I wish it would change, I seriously doubt it will.
Like PK, when I first came out to Ray, I hoped he would make me accountable for things.I explained what I wanted, and he didn't express any problem with spanking. It seemed so romantic to be taken over a knee when it was needed. Those seam ripper novels of yesteryear made it sound so easy; the men had no reservations, and it all seemed so hot and steamy. I still think it sounds wonderful, but the truth is, it wouldn't work for me. I guess he knew better right away. I was on my own when I met Ray, had an important job and people working for me, so stepping into a submissive role was foreign to me. I wanted it in my head, and even in the bedroom most of the time, but it would never work in real life. I hate being told what to do and being told I'm wrong, is like waving a red flag in front of a bull. It's a character flaw, and Ray has learned that suggestions work much better than orders. We joke that I'm right 99 and 44/100% of the time.
Would I, could I 'lean in' as Mere says. I do on many things, on my terms, on some things, on some days but never for a steady diet. At least I don't think so. We've both compromised and don't have that many issues anyway so I guess, like PK, the questions will never be answered.
Don't get me wrong; sometimes I'm jealous as all get out over some of you but other days I know I'm right where I should be, but I will always wonder.
See you later for more Aimless Rambling.
Hi Sunny, I think it is like this for most of us in reality. The thing is most of us discovered this life after we had married the men we married. It's not their fault we suddenly want different things. Some of the blogs I have read make me wonder how some husbands don't just run for the hills. Our men are who they are and so we have to work on finding a happy medium. fantasies are just that sometimes I suppose.
ReplyDeletelove Jan, xx
As I said, I'll always wonder, just wonder how Donald Trump came to be the Republican Presidential nominee.
DeleteHi Sunny, I agree, I think the reality is different to the vision we have for many of us. Sounds as though you know what will and won't work for you ultimately.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Roz
Oh, I agree. The fantasy is always better than the reality.
DeleteLife....not always...maybe rarely what we imagine it will be, what we think we might want. It seems to me that often, we end up right where we should be, in spite of ourselves....sounds like you are right where you should be, living the life you were intended to...
ReplyDeletehugs abby
I think so too abby, but human nature makes me to always want more, except my more is different than most others. lol
DeleteYour second paragraph I recognise as us too. I didn't want to be like my parents. However, also true is that my concept of dominance, what I write as fiction, isn't anywhere near my reality and thank goodness. I'd make a terrible submissive. I know the boundaries of what works for us and I simply wish those were predictably applied. As Abby says, we're living the life intended and Ray knows you well, which is better than many spouses ever achieve.
ReplyDeleteI know. Although, I wouldn't want to live in my head all the time either.
DeleteI understand that Ray and I have is special but human nature always makes us want more even when we know the grass is not always greener.
Nothing is perfect. Our men love us and they indulge out need for spanking when they think of it, but being a true HOH isn't in their nature and as you said it wouldn't really work for either you or me. We have good men for our reality and we can write the fantasy we crave.
ReplyDeleteSpeak for yourself. I'm perfect - after all I'm right 99 and 44/100% of the time. Laughing
DeleteHi Sunny, Think most of us want the type of TTWD we read about in the stories all of you write. It certainly whets my appetite but reality is far different. TTWD runs hot and cold depending on Bears moods. I know he cares no matter what though.
ReplyDeletePity there's no an instruction book for our men to follow. I know Bear wouldn't though as he prefers to do his own thing. LOL!
Hugs Lindy
Rey never reads instructions unless he hasn't figured it out on his own first. So instruction book wouldn't work here either.
DeleteSunny,
ReplyDeleteYour post screams honesty and truth. However most of all I hear love and self-reliance. You are strong and Ray loves you. That combination makes for a happy life.
Meredith
We are happy, maybe not blissful but we live in the real world.
DeleteSG, I agree with Meredith your post shows so much truth and honesty. No one has the perfect life and isn't like the stories we read no matter how much we'd like it to be. You have found where you should be with a man who cares and loves you deeply but you know that.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Ronnie
xx
PS sorry can't help with the font question. Blogger has a mind of it's own sometimesx
I do know that I'm where I should be, sometimes I just wish it were somewhere else. haha
DeleteIn my experience, not much in life turns out the way we think or even hope it will. Sometimes that's pretty disappointing, especially initially, but it's not always a bad thing. We're real people, living real lives, so comparing our lives to what happens in fictional stories just sets us up for disappointment. And comparing our lives to others lives does too. Now, being human and all, it's pretty natural for us to compare and even to feel envious, but trying to find the joy in our own lives is so much more rewarding, even though hard to do at times. I have so much to be thankful for in my life and yet sometimes I wish some things were different and I feel envious toward others. Thing is, their life isn't perfect either, no matter how it may appear.
ReplyDeleteAs for the whole blogger font thing ... ugh ... I've had that happen before too ... it's annoying. I think it's just a glitch that pops up sometimes for whatever reason.
I don't know about you, but life has been so much more than I expected, so I'm glad it didn't turn out the way I thought when I was a little girl. I too have much to be thankful for - I always say I've lead a charmed life and I'm so thankful for all my blessings.
DeleteIf you try to make your fantasy into reality, you are liable to be disappointed. Whenever you write about Ray, all I hear is love and respect, and that is the greatest gift of all. It is wonderful to have a man love you so much that he knows you better than you know yourself.
ReplyDeleteElla
I know, but I paint such pretty pictures in my head. I think we're both pretty lucky to have men that love us so much.
DeleteDragon has pretty much always been a HOH. Things got hard when returned from a deployment. I had to learn how to share responsibilities again. How to submit. Fortunately Dragon is more of a lead by example than a beat the mule kind of HOH. It isn't my idea of what ttwd would be but I think it is better.
ReplyDeleteYes, there is always something to be gained by being open to possibilities.
DeleteMy my ex and Matthew were both HoH's who started spanking me whenever they were not pleased with my behavior or to emphasize a point...definitely not my idea! LOL My relationship between them was vanilla and fell apart...what does that say about me? Don't know if I'll ever have another relationship but I've learned to never say never. ;)
ReplyDeleteBTW...looks as if your font issue might be because you accidentally clicked on the font button or heading. Simply select all your font and then click on the Tx button at the top of the edit screen which will remove all formatting. Let me know if you have any questions.
Hugs and blessings...Cat
It says you're not vanilla.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the info on the blog - it worked. I hope I remember for the next time blogger gives me fits.
I have been wanting to comment but trying to gather my thoughts on how to answer. Part of me will always wonder I guess, wanting to experience the fantasy even just for a day to see what it feels like, though the reality is domestic discipline would not work for us. We, like you, do not fight. We do not always agree, of course, but for the most part we get along fine and work well as a team. And the things we don't agree on...well, we just agree to disagree. It works for us. However, the closeness spanking brings will always be something I crave and need and want and hope for...and that is both fantasy and reality for me. I want my man to notice me, to be aware and give me the attention I need so that then I feel loved and can give him the love he needs in return...sexy spankings that lead to love-making, playful flirtatious spankings, the just because spankings, the you seem stressed and are driving me crazy so I am going to spank the worry away kind of spankings - those are what I need and want. While I have accepted that my real life is never going to look like my fantasy where my husband sweeps me across his knees or gives me dominance so I can fully let go and submit to him in the bedroom, and there will never be domestic discipline we work together as we are...I will still always want more than what I have because I know our relationship can be so much closer...I have seen it.
ReplyDeleteHugs