A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing" he thought as he flew down I-95 pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror he saw a State Trooper, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing?. I'm too old for this!." and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift is over in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding - a reason I've never heard before - I'll let you go".
The old gentleman paused then said "Three years ago my wife ran off with a State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back".
"Have a good day, Sir", replied the trooper
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The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask for some mathemetical help. He said to a member of his staff, "Y'all graduated from the University and I need some help. If I was to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" Someone in back piped up with "Everything but my earrings".
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A man had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of and behind the car. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was. The man replied: "I got a flat tahr". The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded. "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."
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A state trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The troooper asked "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"
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The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see
that sign over your head."
"Yep", he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin it here, 'cause it says 'Fine For Dumping Garbage'".
These made me laugh - you know at one time or another we've all come across situations where people have left you scratching your head in disbelief. I am sorry to say I probably have been one of them at one time or another.
Another football weekend coming up - will have to find something to do - my team is in a "by", but hubby will be watching regardless.
Don't forget to stop by on Monday for story day. This week's story will be in two parts and it is a sequel to one that was previously posted.
Have a great weekend and see you later for more Aimless Ramblings.
