Yesterday I posted a question about how to break up a long story. The results are in and the majority wanted the story posted on consecutive days. Thanks for your input and know that Monday's story will be concluded on Tuesday.
A friend sent these to me a while back and I thought they were worth passing on. Hope you enjoy.
A friend sent these to me a while back and I thought they were worth passing on. Hope you enjoy.
1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out
to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whisky-maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, because it
was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall. The police are looking into it.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to
the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
17. A backward poet writes inverse.
18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.
21. A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an airplane. The
stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion
allowed per passenger.'
22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'
23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have
your kayak and heat it too.
24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other
says, 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'
25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a
root-canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
26.There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that
at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten days.
Enjoy the rest of the weekend and see you later for more Aimless Ramblings.
to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whisky-maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, because it
was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall. The police are looking into it.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to
the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
17. A backward poet writes inverse.
18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.
21. A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an airplane. The
stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion
allowed per passenger.'
22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'
23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have
your kayak and heat it too.
24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other
says, 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'
25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a
root-canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
26.There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that
at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten days.
Enjoy the rest of the weekend and see you later for more Aimless Ramblings.
LOL and groaning Sunny ;) Cute semantics. Hope you are enjoying your last few days with your daughter and grands.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Cat
You have to admit some of them are really good.
DeleteWe are having a terrific time and sorry to see it come to an end.
Funny! My brain alternately needs to think and keeps laughing ! Between you and Cat I'm now too awake to fall back asleep!
ReplyDeleteSorry to mess up your sleep.
DeleteHahahah! i loved this!! Thanks for sharing them SG:)
ReplyDeleteBelle:)
Glad you liked.
Delete