Facing The Past

Daniel Lodestone walked into the establishment, his eyes searching for a familiar face. He had been gone a long time and wasn’t sure if there was anyone left who knew him back before all the hoopla.  He didn’t want to be recognized so he purposely downplayed his appearance. He hoped that sporting a three-day growth of beard, clipped hair with all highlights removed, glasses instead of contacts, without his usual garb and minus his entourage, would go a long way toward making him unrecognizable except to those who knew him well. His eyes locked on his target – his search was over.  His past and his future were about to collide.

She felt eyes boring into her.  She was used to people staring, so at first, it didn’t phase her.  It wasn’t until she had that creepy feeling on the back of her neck that she paid attention. It can’t possibly be him, not after all this time was her first thought.  His eyes never wavered as she went about her business.  When she couldn’t ignore him any longer, she felt her shoulders slouch and her reserve disappear – it was him, and she wasn’t sure what to do.  Time was up; he was coming toward her.

“Hello, Callie,” he said unsure of himself.

“What are you doing here?”  Her manner was defensive.

“I think we have some things to discuss, don’t you?”

“I can’t imagine what they would be.”

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“I think you can.” From behind her, he heard someone yell to her that customers were waiting, and their food was getting cold.

“I have to get back to work.”

He took a seat at an empty booth.  “Fine, I’ll just sit here and wait.”

Callie Morgan grew up with Daniel Lodestone. He was her first childhood friend and in the beginning, they were like brother and sister. Jacob Lodestone, Daniel’s father, came from a long line of wealthy businessmen and when Daniel’s mother was killed in an automobile accident,  a long list of people helped him raise Daniel.  Callie’s mother was one of them.  She was employed as a housekeeper but became more like a surrogate mother, especially once Callie began accompanying her mother to work. It was easy to think of Lila that way. It was fine until Jacob Lodestone found them with each other in Daniel’s bedroom. They weren’t doing anything more than talk but Jacob read much more into the innocent situation.  He told Lila Morgan not to bring Callie around anymore, and he forbid Daniel to spend any more time with Callie. 

Jacob Lodestone never gave it a second thought. He naturally assumed his edict was obeyed.  After all, his directives were always adhered to the letter.  But to Daniel, the forbidden fruit was all the sweeter.  Daniel and Callie continued to meet clandestinely – it wasn’t that difficult, Jacob was not an attentive father and Lila worked all day.  It wasn’t until Lila Morgan informed Jacob Lodestone that Callie was pregnant and Daniel was the father that he realized drastic measures needed to be taken. He had bigger plans for his son than to end up with the housekeeper’s daughter. 

Furious, he immediately shipped Daniel off to military school and arranged an abortion for Callie. He paid Lila for the cost of the abortion and her future silence on that matter. He cut all ties with Newton and relocated to Los Angeles, California.

Daniel’s efforts to stay in touch with Callie failed.  His letters returned unopened and after a while; he quit trying. He and his father became more and more estranged through the ensuing years. While in college, Daniel and a couple of his friends started a small band. They began to get quite a following and soon, much to his father’s displeasure, Daniel dropped out of college to pursue a full-time music career. The band, Full Speed Ahead, was ‘discovered’ playing in a small club near the LA airport.  They were an instant hit and soon every cliché you ever heard became their life. Daniel, the spokesman, and lead singer became the fodder for every ‘rag’ in the supermarket shelves.  Every sordid detail was chronicled in magazines and tabloids in and out of this country.  Some of it was true, but most were stories made up by the band’s publicist.

 His life continued in this fashion until that fateful day when the band’s tour bus was involved in a fatal accident that took the lives of two of his bandmates, and the drivers of both vehicles.  Daniel survived, but barely.  His injuries included two broken legs, damage to his pancreas and liver, as well as head trauma and numerous deep facial cuts. He was hospitalized for months, and in rehab for months after that.

While recuperating the one thing that kept up his spirits were the good wishes of all of the band’s fans.  He tried responding to each and everyone personally and one of the notes was from his original hometown.  He opened the note a couple of pictures fell out.  The first picture was old, taken when he was probably about ten – he was standing next to Callie.  He remembered exactly what they had been doing that day – it was at a carnival and he and Callie had just finished eating cotton candy when someone snapped the picture.  He was trying to wipe the sugary concoction away and it looked as if they were kissing.  He smiled at the memory.  When he looked at the next picture, his body went numb.  “What the hell?” he said to himself.  He turned the picture over, looking for a clue or explanation and then turned to the envelope for an address. There was no return address.

After that note, Daniel had a new resolve and made some life-altering decisions. He knew he had to pursue finding Callie.  He contacted his father but as usual, it was like confronting a stone wall.  His father either didn’t have or didn’t share any information. His public persona made pursuing this kind of thing difficult so he hired an investigator to find Callie Morgan.

It didn’t take long. Callie Morgan had never left Newton.  The rest of the information rocked his world and he knew the first step of the rest of his life would begin in Newton. As soon as he was able, he took that first step. She was still his Callie – she may be taller and some of her angles had turned into womanly curves, but she still had that long strawberry blond hair.  It was pulled back in a pony tail and swung from side to side with the gentle sway of her hips as she walked away. 

“I’ll get you a menu.”

When she returned with the menu he could see she still had that smattering of freckles across her nose and those cornflower blue eyes that were always able to see right through him. He knew from the investigator she had never married and that Lila had bought the diner in which he now sat a couple of years after he left town. 

Once things quieted in the dinner, she came over and sat down in the booth.  He could tell she was nervous – hell, so was he. 

“Why?’ was all he said.

“Why what?” she responded.

“Why did you send back all my letters? You know I didn’t have any control over my leaving. You knew my father.”

 “I never received any letters.” He could tell by her stunned expression, she was telling the truth. 

“Well, someone returned them to me unopened.”  Her face flushed as she realized it must have been her mother’s doing. “I’ve kept them if you want proof.”

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“Daniel, that’s all water under the bridge and I see no reason to dig up old dirt.”

“I have good reason to believe there is.”  Her face flushed again.  The bell over the door jingled and a nine-year old boy walked in.  Daniel lost his breath, it was the image of him at that age. So, the investigator was right.  He yelled, “Hi Mom” as he walked through the swinging doors to the kitchen.  Callie spun on her heels and ran to the kitchen as if there were demons on her tail.

While he sat in the booth awaiting her return he thought about all the time lost with his son and how difficult her life must have been.  Dealing with pregnancy at sixteen in a small town could not have been easy.  Even with today’s relaxed standards, there were always small minded righteous people in a town the size of Newton that could make life difficult for her and his son.

Why hadn’t she contacted him?  Surely, once he became famous, she could have found him.  Then he thought back to those returned letters.  She didn’t realize he cared and his father’s actions didn’t stop his feelings for her. Damn him, he knew she was pregnant and that’s why he sent me away and left Newton for good? That bastard.  Damn him and his righteousness and thinking he could make everything and everyone bend to his will.

The next thing he knew, Lila Morgan was standing next to him.  “Did you come here to cause trouble?”

“Hello, Mrs. Morgan.  No, I came because I learned I probably had a son.  After seeing that boy walk in here a while ago, I don’t think you could possibly deny that he is my flesh and blood.”

“And if he is, do you plan on upsetting him by announcing you’re his father and then taking off the way you and your father did when he found out Callie was pregnant.”

“I knew it, that sonofabitch.  I never knew Callie was pregnant.  I wrote to her for a year after I left and every letter was returned to me unopened.”

“I know, I was the one that returned them. There was no need for her to have any hopes of getting together with you. Your father arranged for Callie to have an abortion.  He paid for the abortion and for my silence about the whole thing. Callie refused to have an abortion so I used that money to buy this place so we had a place of our own. I saw no reason to let anyone know and I was just doing what I thought was best for everybody.”

“You mean what was best for you and my father.”  He was getting angry and it wasn’t all Lila’s fault, but she was the one standing in front of him at the moment.

He calmed himself down as faces started to turn their way.  This wasn’t how he planned this meeting to go.

“Lila, I’m not going to let this go. I’ll give you time to adjust, but I intend to be a father to my son and I will take the steps necessary to make that happen.”  He handed Lila a card and told him to have Callie call him. 

                                                ********************

Callie did call him and arranged to meet him that evening.  They agreed to meet in his hotel room where they were assured a degree of privacy.  In a small town, there was always someone around to eavesdrop and Daniel was trying to keep his identity under wraps, at least for the short term.

She was nervous, not sure how she felt about Daniel; it had been too many years of hoping to hear from him and being disappointed. Once he became famous, she was afraid he would fight her on having custody of their son; he had the wherewithal to take her to court. He could provide a much better life for him. The Daniel she used to know would not have done that, but was he the same Daniel?  All those thoughts went through her mind as she knocked at the door. He beckoned her in, placing his index finger to his lips and rolled his eyes upward, silently telling her to listen. It became very apparent some intense lovemaking was happening in the room above.  They could hear what sounded like a headboard banging against the wall and the cries of a woman in the throes of orgasm. Callie smiled at Daniel and the ice was broken, their connection was back.

They talked for hours, sharing what their lives were like in the intervening years between then and now.  It was well past midnight.  She yawned and said she had to get up early the next morning and was going to call it a night.

“How do you see this going forward?” He asked her.

“That is a topic for another time, right now I’m going home and going to bed.”  He reached over to kiss her goodnight.  His lips lingered with her sweetness and he was wont to pull away, but he did. They agreed to meet again the following day and the conversation took up where they left off.

“I think that depends on you.  Do you plan to continue your musical career?  Is that even a possibility?” Callie wanted to know.

“I’ve talked with my fellow bandmates, Jeff and Brett, and they’re not sure they want to restart?  Hell, I’m not sure if I want to restart again, pursue a solo career, or just live an entirely different life.  Right about now, a whole different life is very appealing to me, especially if it includes you and my son.  Is there a chance for us?  I know what we had when we were younger and I would like to build on that.  I haven’t had anything even close to that since, notwithstanding what you may have read.”

“If you plan to be a father in more than name only, then you can definitely count on being in Danny’s life, I won’t stop you.  If you just want to be a cardboard cutout of a father, I will fight you tooth and nail.  He’s better off just the way it is now than be continually disappointed because you’re never around.  As for us, I guess it depends on how you answer the first question.”

“Let me ask you this, does life with you and Danny have to be here in Newton?”

“Until I know we’re permanent, the answer is yes.  I’m not about to uproot Danny until then.”

“I understand that, and I want to be present when he learns about me.  I want to try and explain why I haven’t been around until now.”

“I’ll have to think about that.”

                                                

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In the end, Callie granted Daniel’s request.  Their first meeting took place in a nearby park.  He spied Danny and Callie walking toward him.  They were holding hands and when Danny saw him, he looked at Callie and Daniel realized he knew, he didn’t need to be told.  It was a sweet moment, Daniel allowed Danny to make the first move.  Daniel stood as Danny came forward and extended his hand.  Daniel shook his hand and then enveloped him in a hug.  “Sorry, young man, I need more than a handshake.” Daniel was trembling, he didn’t think he’d ever been so nervous in his entire life.

“You’re my dad, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I am and I’m so sorry this is the first time I’m meeting you. I assure you, from this day forward I will be available to you every single day, in one way or another.” Tears rolled down his face and Callie realized she too had tears in her eyes.

Daniel spoke the truth.  He had every intention of being a part of his son’s life.  He had no idea what he was going to do with his own at that moment, but he didn’t need to.  There was enough money to carry him forward without doing a thing. The first thing he wanted to do was get to know his son and have his son get to know him.  It meant settling down in Newton – at least for the interim.  He wanted to keep his identity a secret as long as possible – it would make life easier for all concerned.

He hired a realtor to find him a place with a long-term lease.  A place that would be big enough to accommodate the times that Danny would come and stay.  Luckily, not too far out of town, a small ranchette became available that would be perfect. Part of the property was already sublet to a rancher who ran a riding academy, but the ranch house itself was empty.  Daniel brought Callie and Danny out to the property before anything was signed. Little Danny fell in love the minute he spied the horses.

“Can I ride the horses?”

“I’m sure we can make some arrangement.  First, though I want to know if you would like to live here sometime.”

“You mean all the time.”  He watched Callie and saw her shoulders tense.

“No, I’m going to live here all the time.  For the time being, you’ll only come on weekends and holidays, if that’s okay with your mom.” He watched Callie relax her shoulders.

He turned to his mom.  “Is that okay?”

“I think that will be okay.  Me and your dad will have to talk it over and work out the details but I think it will be fine.”

He and Callie walked through the house and discussed what he’d need to buy to make the place livable. 

“So you’re staying put?” she asked.

“For a while, I want to get to know Danny and I can’t do that if I’m on somewhere else.  I don’t think I want to tour anymore and frankly, the longer I can keep my identity and whereabouts a secret, the better for all.”

“I agree with that, Dan.  How am I going to explain you when people ask?

“I’ll leave that up to you.  Sometimes, it is just easier to stick to as much of the truth as possible, but it’s up to you.  Do you think the kids will give Danny a hard time at school?”

“No harder than he’s already endured.  I think short of revealing too much I’ll just say we just reconnected.  Hell, most people here in Newton will probably connect the dots in no time and your secret will be out.”

Callie was right – it was about two weeks later that the Newton Chronicle wrote a story about the celebrity living among them. It was both a blessing and a curse.

Newton’s population and geographic location helped keep the ruckus down. The locals' initial curiosity died down in a short time and he was able to lead a more normal life.  It had been a long time since he’d had that opportunity. The success of Full Speed Ahead dictated constant touring, so that he often didn’t get to bed until the wee hours of the morning and his days would begin around noon.  During his recuperation and rehab, there was a more normal pattern to his life but every day was an experience in pain and challenge. Now, life took on a pattern of normalcy.

Callie worked the breakfast shift at the diner. She would wake Danny, get him dressed and bring him with her to the diner where they’d share a breakfast before he left for school.  Dan began meeting them for breakfast and taking Danny to school. Callie’s shifts at the diner revolved around Danny’s schedule.  It meant she worked the lunch shift, would have the afternoon to herself until Danny was finished with school for the day.  Now that he was nine, he was involved in after-school activities, so Callie had more free time that she began spending with Dan.  Rekindling their childhood romance didn’t take long.  They had always been kindred spirits and they moved to the rhythms of small-town life.  They’d both pick up Danny after his school day and whatever activity he was participating in, then head over to the diner for Callie’s dinner shift.  Often, they’d have dinner there and while Callie finished her shift, Dan would take Danny home to do his homework and wait for Callie.

Lila corralled him one day in the diner and asked him what his plans were. He told her he didn’t have any.

“Well, you better make some.  If you’re going to stick around, marry my daughter.  If not, don’t dangle a carrot that is never going to drop.  She had a hard enough time the first time around.”