Ten Life Lessons

A Cowboy Tombstone:

Here are five things for men to follow for a happy life.  Russell J. Larsen inscribed these on his headstone.  

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2.  It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3.  It's important to have a woman who you can trust and doesn't lie to you.

4.  It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and likes to be with you.

5.  This is the most important lesson of all.  Make sure these four woman don't know each other or you could end up dead like me.

RUSSELL LARSEN IS BURIED IN LOGAN, UTAH.

                                  ============================

An old woman walked up and tied her mule to the hitching post.  She stood there brushing some of the dust from her face and clothes.  A young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger obviously had too much whiskey, looked at the old woman and laughed saying:

              "Hey old woman, you ever been dancing?"

             "No, I never have, never really wanted to." she replied

 He started shooting at the old woman's feet.  Not wanting to get her toe blown off, she started hopping around and the crowd that had gathered began laughing.  When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun, turned around and started back in the saloon.  The old woman turned to her pack mule and pulled out a double barrelled shotgun, cocked both hammers.  The loud clicks carried clearly through the thin desert air and the crowd immediately stopped laughing.  The young gunslinger, hearing the sound, turned very slowly.  The crowd watched as the gunman stared at the old woman and the twin barrels of the shotgun.

             "Son, have you ever licked a mule's ass."

            "No Ma am, but I've always wanted to."

The moral of this story is

1. Never be arrogant.

2.  Don't waste ammunition.

3. Liquor makes you think you're smarter than you are.

4.  Always  make sure you know who has the power, and

5.  Don't mess with old women, they didn't get old by being stupid.

See you later for more Aimless Ramblings.