Wednesday, April 10, 2013

TOO FUNNY NOT TO SHARE



Reading these have to put a smile on your face, some are funnier than others and most of them are so true it's scary.


1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing. 

10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine. 

14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!

17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

18. Procrastinate Now!

19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

24 . He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.


25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

26. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig
.
27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

29. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

Enjoy the day and see you later for more Aimless Ramblings.

46 comments:

  1. Thanks for the laugh with my morning coffee :)

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  2. Ha.ha.. I love these. Just what I needed now .. little laugh.
    Numbers 12 and 13 are my favorites!

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  3. Another day older, and thanks to you Sunny, another day wiser.
    Thanks for the laugh.

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  4. I really do love all of these - 6,12, and14 do strike me as especially true!

    Hugs,
    pk

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  5. "I used to have a handle on life, but it broke" is my favourite.

    Hugs,
    Hermione

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  6. Thank you Sunny, I loved all of these, hard to pick a favourite!

    Hugs,
    Roz

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  7. Too funny! Thanks for the laugh!

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  8. Very funny ... great way to start the day. Thank you!

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  9. I love number 15! Sometimes I don't forget to start again....I start something else instead!

    Great as per usual.

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  10. Loved them....can totally relate to #11.....I can only take a 1/2 dose of NyQuil or I feel hung over the entire next day....yes, I am a wimp! Thanks for the laugh :)

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    Replies
    1. So with NyQuil you are Loopy Lucy Lou. Very funny.

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  11. They all made me smile but numbers 4 and 15 my favourites. Thanks SG.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

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  12. Very funny. Thanks for sharing. I liked number 5.

    Hug,
    joey

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    Replies
    1. Well, it's definitely one of those true statements

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  13. I can relate to so many of these, it's pitiful. :) thanks for sharing...

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  14. Hi Sunny, I liked the last one best,
    Love Jan.xx

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    Replies
    1. I can so relate to that because half the time my head is somewhere else anyway.

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  15. These are great Sunny - I love the "better being over the hill than under it!"

    Hugs

    Ami

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    Replies
    1. That's kind of lik better to wake up on the green side instead of the brown side.

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  16. Hey Sunny...thanks for the giggles...these are all great and have many of them in cartoon form. It's fun having them all together like this. ;)

    Blessings,
    Cat

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    Replies
    1. Glad they brought you a laugh, you haven't had many lately.

      so glad for the good news.

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  17. Those are hilarious! Thanks for the early morning giggles....lol

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    Replies
    1. I thought they were pretty funny. Glad you stopped by.

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  18. Omigoodness, sunnygirl, these are too funny! I like the poor little pig one and the voices one especially, but they are all funny :D

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  19. Aimless Ramblings. I loved all 27 of these funny sayings. They say "Truth is stranger than fiction.". Bravo to you for collecting all these 'gems of wisdom' thoughts.

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