TOO FUNNY NOT TO SHARE
Reading these have to put a smile on your face, some are funnier than others and most of them are so true it's scary.
1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18. Procrastinate Now!
19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance. 22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24 . He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
26. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. 27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
Enjoy the day and see you later for more Aimless Ramblings.
Thanks for the laugh with my morning coffee :)
ReplyDeleteYou are welcome.
DeleteLots of LOL!
ReplyDeleteyeah, that was my reaction too.
DeleteHa.ha.. I love these. Just what I needed now .. little laugh.
ReplyDeleteNumbers 12 and 13 are my favorites!
Pretty funny.
DeleteAnother day older, and thanks to you Sunny, another day wiser.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laugh.
Glad you enjoyed Bas.
DeleteHehe. I like :)
ReplyDeleteDee x
Hey Dee, glad you stopped by.
DeleteI really do love all of these - 6,12, and14 do strike me as especially true!
ReplyDeleteHugs,
pk
Definitely # 6. haha
Delete"I used to have a handle on life, but it broke" is my favourite.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Hermione
That one is pretty funny.
DeleteThank you Sunny, I loved all of these, hard to pick a favourite!
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Roz
I would be hard pressed to pick one too.
DeleteToo funny! Thanks for the laugh!
ReplyDeleteHappy you got a laugh out of it.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteVery funny ... great way to start the day. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteHope it kept the day happy..
DeleteI love number 15! Sometimes I don't forget to start again....I start something else instead!
ReplyDeleteGreat as per usual.
I call that the ........and then syndrome.
DeleteLoved them....can totally relate to #11.....I can only take a 1/2 dose of NyQuil or I feel hung over the entire next day....yes, I am a wimp! Thanks for the laugh :)
ReplyDeleteSo with NyQuil you are Loopy Lucy Lou. Very funny.
DeleteThanks for the laugh :)
ReplyDeleteGlad I could make you laugh.
DeleteThey all made me smile but numbers 4 and 15 my favourites. Thanks SG.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Ronnie
xx
I lost the handle a long tme ago.
DeleteVery funny. Thanks for sharing. I liked number 5.
ReplyDeleteHug,
joey
Well, it's definitely one of those true statements
DeleteI can relate to so many of these, it's pitiful. :) thanks for sharing...
ReplyDeleteI don't think you are alone.
DeleteHi Sunny, I liked the last one best,
ReplyDeleteLove Jan.xx
I can so relate to that because half the time my head is somewhere else anyway.
Deletethanks for the smiles! :-)
ReplyDeleteA smile a day.........................
DeleteThese are great Sunny - I love the "better being over the hill than under it!"
ReplyDeleteHugs
Ami
That's kind of lik better to wake up on the green side instead of the brown side.
Delete:) back at you.
ReplyDeleteHey Sunny...thanks for the giggles...these are all great and have many of them in cartoon form. It's fun having them all together like this. ;)
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Cat
Glad they brought you a laugh, you haven't had many lately.
Deleteso glad for the good news.
Those are hilarious! Thanks for the early morning giggles....lol
ReplyDeleteI thought they were pretty funny. Glad you stopped by.
DeleteOmigoodness, sunnygirl, these are too funny! I like the poor little pig one and the voices one especially, but they are all funny :D
ReplyDeleteAimless Ramblings. I loved all 27 of these funny sayings. They say "Truth is stranger than fiction.". Bravo to you for collecting all these 'gems of wisdom' thoughts.
ReplyDelete