Sunday Giggle

Hope everyone is having a spendid weekend.  Sorry for any readers dealing with the aftermath of that storm in the Northeast.  Take heart, the groundhog says it will be an early spring.

Since this is Sunday, thought this was a good day for this joke.

An Irish priest was transferred to Texas. Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new west Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station.The conversation went like this: 

"Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?"

 "And the best of the day to yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St. Ann 's Catholic Church. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn and would ye be so kind as to send a couple o'yer lads to take care of the matter?"

 Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit and recognizing the foreign accent, thought he would have a little fun with the good father, replied, 

"Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!" 

There was dead silence on the line for a long moment.......Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye,'tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for me call."

This one really had me ROFLMAO.  Hope it did the same for you. I love quick wit and always wish those kinds of replies would come to me in the moment and not afterward as it usually does.

If you stop by for tomorrow's story, it is an ongoing tale of Joannie and Derek.

See you later for more Aimless Ramblings.

Can't Think of a Title

That old saying that truth is stranger than fiction keeps popping into my head.  I write stories and often they are not posted for months because, as Minelle keeps telling me, I am a prolific writer.  I don't know about that but when an idea hits I am lucky enough to have the time to write before it gets lost in the wonderland I call my brain.

Many times, readers indicate a they would like a follow up to a particular story or they want to read more about characters and I will try to accomodate that request which pushes other stories further back in the line. Let me tell you that is very flattering and I am not complaining.

Anyway, I will read stories written by SNP , another guest writer over at PK's, or somewhere else and the stories will have the same premise or parts of stories I've already written but haven't posted.   I know there is nothing new under the sun and I've probably read thousands of books in my lifetime so I'm sure some of my ideas are flashes of stories that I've long since forgotten.  Every once in a while someone will say a line or tell a true tale and I will incorporate some part of it into a story, maybe even something that occurred in my life - but when the light bulb goes on it's straight from my brain.  Trust me my memory isn't that good anymore.

I am writing this because today there is a story on the internet about an 89 year old man, Bill Spence, who writes romance novels under a pseudonym.  I wrote a story back in early December which I haven't posted yet that is about this very thing. The main character is male who writes " spanking novels" under a female pen name. So whenever I post this story don't think it is about Bill Spence writing as Jessica Blair okay.  

See you later for more Aimless Ramblings.

Reconnection and Embarrasing Moments

Today we drove over to Lake Pleasant.  It's not far from where we are staying and we both needed a water fix.  Sitting at the marina watching the sail boats and enjoying the sun.  Perfect.  Warmer weather - I love it, although we're in for a change this weekend.  Not like the northeast though so I should stop complaining.

We had a lovely reconnection, several leather goods were dusted off and boy was I out of shape.  It had been weeks and weeks, or so it seemed.  I was glowing in more ways than one when all was said and done.

BTW, PK over at New Beginnings has posted a follow up story of mine on Fantasy Friday today.  Go over and take a look.  Also, Minelle's hubby is having some health issues and they could use some positive thoughts.  The same with our wonderful Bas.  Please keep them in mind as you traverse the day.

On a different track, talk about embarrassing moments.  We all have them and obviously doctors are no exception, see below for some examples.

EMBARRASSING MEDICAL EXAMS

A man comes into the ER and yells. . .'My wife's going to have her baby in the cab.' I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly, I noticed that there were several cabs and I was in the wrong one! 

-                                         __________________________

At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. 'Big breaths,' I instructed.

"Yes, they used to be," replied the patient

                                         ___________________

One day I had to be the bearer of bad news, when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a 'massive internal fart.' -

                                      ______________________

A woman and her baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed. "Breast-fed," she replied...

'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered. She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination. Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, 'No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk.'

“I know”, she said. “I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came”.

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Make it a great day everyone.  See you later for more Aimless Ramblings.