Blazin' Buns

We're not even halfway through November and already the stores are playing Christmas music, the ads on TV have started and it's only a matter of time before one of my over-eager friends will be sending the first Christmas card of the season.  I'm not even the slightest bit ready to start to accept that another year is shot to hell.

It's been an exciting week here - not one I want to relive.  I keep thinking I'll wake up and it will be a bad dream but so far that hasn't happened.  I know eventually I'll come around, until then ...

This story was penned on Saturday after I received an e-mail from PK telling me about the forest fires in her neck of this country.  Our friend, Katie, from This Whole Thing also has a loved one in that area and they are concerned for themselves and others in the area. Until you've seen one of these things engulf a whole hillside in less than two minutes, you can't imagine how horrible it is.  You pack up your precious possessions, your fur babies and are ready to run out the door at a moment's notice.  I'm hoping by now, these fires are under control without too much loss of property and life - even the forest creatures who are little by little being forced out of their habitat are running for safety.  

Blazin' Buns

Mike and I moved to this mountain town after we had enough of the flatlands.  It was as much my decision as his, but I didn’t know at the time the problems that a geographic location could cause.  For instance, now that we are more isolated than before, Mike has dictated that my gas tank never goes below half.  For years, it’s been a quarter, and now it’s a half.  Do I have to tell you how many times I’ve been spanked for that one little notch on the fuel meter.

That is one one of the many adjustments I’ve had to make.  I’m now well acquainted with making sure all burners are turned off, curling iron unplugged, dampers not closed until the fire is completely out, the list goes on.  I understand the fire hazards, especially when we’ve experienced a very dry summer after a very mild winter. Everything is tinder-dry.  I saw a sign on the road the other day that said not to even think about farting.  Although I laughed out loud, it’s not funny.

Mostly, people who live where we do are for the most part careful, occasionally you will still see some ignorant tourist toss a cigarette butt out the window.  Campfires are another problem with those less careful than others.  They have no idea that a small puff of wind can pick up an ember and deposit it far from the fire circle.  One little ember can destroy a whole area.

Well, you get the gist so you can imagine how much trouble I was in when I left the barbecue while I drove down to the little mom and pop store to pick up one small item.  The store is just down the road a bit – no more than two miles, so I figured up and back twenty minutes tops. Unfortunately, during that twenty minutes, poof.  The only thing that saved our entire deck and house from going up in flames was Mike.  He drove up the driveway to see the one whole end of the deck in flames.  He was able to grab the hose and put out the fire before it did any more damage. 

Needless to say, when I arrived home, I was in big trouble.  Barn burner trouble if you know what I mean.

No hellos, how are you hon?  No it was “What the hell were you thinking?  You not only didn’t move the barbecue away from the trees, but you go off and leave it unattended. Are your brains scrambled today?  I bet you’ll never pull a stunt like that again by the time I’m finished with you."

I was flabberghasted to see him whipping his belt out of his pant loops.  “You’re going to punish me here?”

“You bet your sweet ass, I am.  Right here where you can see how careless your actions were.”

“But we are outside, suppose someone comes down the road.”

“Then, they’re going to see you getting your ass blistered.”

He wasn’t kidding.  He had me lean over the deck railing, laid his hand on my back and told me to keep still and not to move.  The good of it was that he didn’t have me bare my bottom.  The bad of it was that I had on shorts so although my bottom may have been slightly covered, my thighs were on full display.

That first lash of his belt on my unprotected thighs had me dancing around.  “Keep still” was the order he barked out. 

“I’m trying.  It hurts.”

“It’s going to hurt a whole lot more by the time I’m done.  Now keep still.”

The second strike landed slightly below the first.  There were three more lines of fire across my thighs before he moved on to the fleshier and covered part of my tush. I no longer cared if anyone saw me or not.  It hurt too damn bad.  I lost count of how many times his belt came down on my bottom.  My denim shorts didn’t offer very much protection.  He wailed away.  Normally, I don’t cry when I’m getting punished – it’s a stubborn thing, but this was the exception.  Tears were streaming down my face, my nose was running, I was quite sure my ass and thighs were as blistered as the paint on the deck and still he never lost his stride.  The belt continued raining down smacks on my already swollen butt.

Finally, it was over.   He stood me up and held me for a minute before I was told to hit the shower and climb into bed.

“But it’s only 4:30.”

“Do you want more?”

“No.”

“Then do as I say.”

I scrambled into the shower and did a little dance when the water hit my punished body parts. I was almost finished when he came in to inspect his handiwork.  Apparently, there were a couple of spots he thought warranted some arnica. 

“I’m sorry.” I managed to mumble as he rubbed the cream onto my wounded bottom and thighs.

“We were lucky.  It could have been so much worse.  I still don’t know what the hell you could have been thinking.  Now go get into bed.  I’ll be in to check on you as soon as I’ve finished cleaning up outside.”

I climbed into bed and immediately rolled over onto my tummy.  There was no way I could lay on my back. Every movement brought me a fresh dose of hurt, and there was no getting comfortable.  I grabbed my Kindle from the nightstand and began reading hoping to take my mind off my throbbing bottom.   Mike came into the room and promptly removed the Kindle.

“What are you doing?” I protested.

“I want you to lay here and think about how dangerous it is to leave a fire unattended.  Think of  all the people, not to mention all the forest creatures that could have been harmed by your one careless act.”

“But you spanked me for that.”

“Yes, and now you have to think about why you were spanked and remember it well.”

“Trust me, babe, my bottom is going to be remembering it for some time to come.  I’m pretty sure my ass would glow in the dark, right about now.”

“Good, then I did my job. My little fire bug.”




Next weekend is LOL weekend.  Love our Lurkers is celebrating it's 11th birthday and this year it will be going on for two days - November 18th and November 19th.  Be sure to mark your calendar to stop in to visit.

See you later for more Aimless Ramblings.